The Weeds Are Stealing My Sunshine
Weeding is an important part of the gig, guys and gals. You see, I really need all of the sunlight, water and nutrients I can get. Those weeds over there steal my sun. They steal my water. They steal my nutrients. So, maybe if you came around about once a week and gave me some face time, we could take care of this weed thing together. I'll walk you through the whole process, but it's pretty simple. Just make sure you pull out the weed roots and all -- those suckers are tenacious. It's delicate work, and you'll be on your hands and knees, so maybe a gardening knee pad is in order? While you're at it, why don't you splurge on some new gloves, too? Yours are a bit out of fashion.